Get Your Dream Life

I have been working a lot on myself recently, clearing all of the emotional baggage and unhelpful limiting beliefs from the past.

I was doing a wonderful guided meditation a few days ago with a good friend of mine. The meditation took me into a wonderful garden, which was full of beautiful souls.

Just as I walked in, there, right in the middle of MY GARDEN, with a huge silly grin on her face was a person I have been trying to detox from my life!

How dare she invade my beautiful garden and my wonderful meditation!!!!

In the meditation I saw myself forcibly eject her from the garden and put her behind the hedge at the back. However, no matter how much I tried to block her out and to build a bigger and higher hedge, she was still there looking at me. She had a mixture of this silly grin and sadness on her face.

Ggggggrrrrrrrhhhh!!!!!

Needless to say I did not really enjoy my meditation very much. When I finished, I told my friend about the incident and he said some very profound words.

He told I was ot to eject her from the garden, but I was to talk to her and ask her what message she had for me. It might be that she was reflecting back to me something about myself that I was did not like or did not want to see.

Sometimes I really dislike this personal growth stuff!  – Especially when the inward exploration is difficult and uncomfortable, as I knew instantly this inner probing was going to be.

“I want you to write her a letter,” my friend continued, ” and tell her all the reasons that you are grateful for having been in your life and the lessons and gifts she has brought you – as difficult a person she may be and as much as you want her OUT of your life.”

I could feel a huge “procrastination to-do list”  (such as dog walk, email checking, shopping and hundreds of other time wasting exercises) coming on before I tackled this one.

However, I knew he was right and I found some comfort from his final remarks- “Once you have understood the lessons or the gifts, she will just fade out of your life.”

The more I thought about this, the more I realised that this woman does not like herself in anyway shape or form and seems to have gone to great lengths to “abuse” (for want of a better word)  herself in all areas of her life.

She makes strange, ill-thought- out decisions around money, which seem to me to put her in a position of permanent lack. Having done that, she then seems to blame everyone else for her problems and expect her friends or the Universe to bail her out.

The more I thought about her and the things about her that I did not like, the more uncomfortable I became.

I had to admit to myself that I had also done similar things around money and there had been many occasions where I had not been at all kind or loving towards myself.

It would be fair to say I had abused my body with overeating and lack of exercise and had deprived myself of love and fun in a lot of ways.

It became very obvious that she was holding up a mirror to me and reflecting me back to me. They do say that cameras and mirrors don’t  lie. Well, this mirror was not lying!

Once I allowed myself to acknowledge all of this, I wrote it all out in my journal. As the feelings of self-loathing started to surface, I allowed myself to experience them all and kept writing until I could write no more.

I was listening to one of the Abundant Mystic teleseminar series and the lady was talking about Ho’oponopono.

This is a Hawaiian method of healing, reconciliation and forgiveness which consists of 4 short sentences and essentially you heal yourself for your part in this relationship going wrong – or at least that is my understanding of it.

The 4 sentences are:

• I am Sorry
• Please Forgive Me
• Thank You
• I Love You

I had heard of this before and never really felt that I had got much from it, however it seemed totally appropriate at that moment, so I started repeating those 4 sentences over and over, whilst thinking about this woman and also about the “Mirror of Lack of Self Love” that she had held up to me.

It took a while, but I felt the feelings start to release.

I finally released the last remnants of it at a fantastic workshop I attended at the weekend, where I broke an arrow that had one end placed against a block of wood and the point was in the soft part of my throat.

Too me, it was a symbolic release of all that lack of self love that had built up over years.

More on that very shortly!

My friend was right. Once I could acknowledge and release the lack of self love for myself, the woman concerned seems to have faded from my life. She has certainly not invaded any more of my meditations.

Perhaps it really is true that we learn our greatest lessons from the most difficult people in our lives.  I am very grateful to that lady for bringing me these lessons and I wish her peace, love, happiness, health and prosperity in her own life.

we are very fortunate at the moment that the rising Earth energies mean we can clear all this stuff quicker than we have ever done before!

With abundant blessings.

Amanda Goldston